Some pics

Since I never update my blog, I thought now would be a good time as any to start.. A lot of things have happened since I last blogged..Caitlyn is now 22 months old and she definitely has a personality of her own.. she is spunky and full of energy and the cutest little person. She melts everybody's hearts with her tight, uncontrollable love hugs, especially David's heart and she has the eyes of an old soul. Sometimes when I talk to her, she looks at me like she knows what I'm going through or how tired I am. This is why people have children...to have friends in the form of little human beings, guide you through life and to teach you...I learn so much from my daughters.. Ellis is my firstborn and will always have a special place in my heart.. when I think of her my heart aches and I get kind of sad. I don't know why..But I talked to my other friend 미란 and she said the same thing...첫째를 생각하면 가슴이 아리고 뭉쿨해지고..I think that's what others think of their firstborn too..

I recently started working as a freelancer...It's been hard to juggle both motherhood and work...i really feel like I fail in both arenas...I have the utmost respect for single mothers.. for me this is temporary as I try to always remind myself that my kids are my priority and their happiness comes first above any of my career ambitions.. but God will guide me.. right now I feel like God is guiding me to work and then who knows...It's been hard to try to not get too excited about career opportunities that come my way.. I have been learning to accept these opportunities but at the same time prepare to let them go...a mother's love and sacrifice is truly divine and noble...I am learning from God every day and I love this feeling.. after all my eternal mission is to be a good mom, human being not the best media buyer in the world right? my tombstone will not say, "awesome media buyer who put in 45 hours a week" it will say, I hope, "loving mom, supportive wife, good daughter, caring person, had charity, everybody's life was a little easier by knowing her." that's my hope and dream.. I have to keep that in mind constantly..

Love blogs..writing down my thoughts is cathartic...forget how soothing writing is.. so I will do this more often...