Some pics

Since I never update my blog, I thought now would be a good time as any to start.. A lot of things have happened since I last blogged..Caitlyn is now 22 months old and she definitely has a personality of her own.. she is spunky and full of energy and the cutest little person. She melts everybody's hearts with her tight, uncontrollable love hugs, especially David's heart and she has the eyes of an old soul. Sometimes when I talk to her, she looks at me like she knows what I'm going through or how tired I am. This is why people have children...to have friends in the form of little human beings, guide you through life and to teach you...I learn so much from my daughters.. Ellis is my firstborn and will always have a special place in my heart.. when I think of her my heart aches and I get kind of sad. I don't know why..But I talked to my other friend 미란 and she said the same thing...첫째를 생각하면 가슴이 아리고 뭉쿨해지고..I think that's what others think of their firstborn too..

I recently started working as a freelancer...It's been hard to juggle both motherhood and work...i really feel like I fail in both arenas...I have the utmost respect for single mothers.. for me this is temporary as I try to always remind myself that my kids are my priority and their happiness comes first above any of my career ambitions.. but God will guide me.. right now I feel like God is guiding me to work and then who knows...It's been hard to try to not get too excited about career opportunities that come my way.. I have been learning to accept these opportunities but at the same time prepare to let them go...a mother's love and sacrifice is truly divine and noble...I am learning from God every day and I love this feeling.. after all my eternal mission is to be a good mom, human being not the best media buyer in the world right? my tombstone will not say, "awesome media buyer who put in 45 hours a week" it will say, I hope, "loving mom, supportive wife, good daughter, caring person, had charity, everybody's life was a little easier by knowing her." that's my hope and dream.. I have to keep that in mind constantly..

Love blogs..writing down my thoughts is cathartic...forget how soothing writing is.. so I will do this more often...

Caitlyn

Caitlyn's here! What a whirlwind of emotions a new baby brings.. not to mention the sleepless nights, feeling fine one minute and totally crazed the next...some moments I feel like screaming and tell myself I'm done having kids and then the next moment, Caitlyn starts cooing at me and smiles so wide I want one more. I really don't know but I've decided to focus on the "now" and try to enjoy every moment of motherhood. When I start working I know I'll miss staying home and getting to see all the precious moements of my girls growing. Life is made up of moments and you have to live in the moments. Easy to say but harder to really feel it in your heart. I want to look back at my life when I'm in my 60's and have no regrets about my 30s and a big part of that is deciding with David on if we want more children and how to raise our children. Career comes second. I've realized I just want to make enough money to do stuff with my family the basics, food, shelter, necessities, occasional vacation. Climing up the corporate ladder is really on the back burner. I want David to succeed in his life goals and right now that's making good grades at Glendale Community College. Hopefully he'll pass his classes. :)

Wedding

Ellis and I were in Korea for my brother Joseph's wedding. Ellis loved hanging out with Adalie even though one of them was crying every 5 minutes. Ellis loved the playground at my parent's house with swings, slides and seesaws. She really missed Adalie when Adalie left for Utah a few days before we came back. She would go room to room yelling "Adi, Adi, Adi ya!"

Sometimes I wish Ellis would not grow past this stage in life where I can pick her up and carry her wherever I go and she loves hanging out with me and follows me everywhere I go. She's beginning to say a lot of words, her favorite being "umma kachee ka"--"mommy, take me with you" I don't know if she knows the meaning of those words but she says it all the time.

अंकल Jacob

एलिस लोवेद स्पेंडिंग टाइम विथ जैकब। जैकब वास सो स्वीट एंड प्लेफुल विथ हेर।
थिस इस इन फ्रंट ऑफ़ जैकब'स ३ स्टोरीअपार्टमेन्ट।

हारवर्ड Square

There was a festival going on in Harvard Square when we went to go visit Jacob. We got to sample hot dogs, and hang with the intellectuals.